The Gift of Divorce

My parents, like many of yours, are divorced. And I’m so thankful.

My freshman year of college my parents separated. It was a tough year. But I wasn’t angry that my parents were divorcing. I was angry that if they were going to do it, they’d taken so long and waited for me, the baby, to leave the house. 

And after many years and much growth, I’ve come to view their divorce as a gift. I’m no longer forced to pretend that they should be married, that they were functional together. What a relief! Kids take on all that pressure. 

I also now get to decide how and when I want to spend time with them and that time isn’t intermingled with all the baggage of their relationship. My parents’ divorce allowed me to figure out what I wanted my relationship to be with each of them, instead of having to just try and survive their relationship with each other.

I know this isn’t novel for many of you, but it might be what some who are in going through a difficult marriage or divorce need to hear. Truly, your divorce can be a gift to your children. 

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One thought on “The Gift of Divorce

  1. The one clear signal in knowing your marriage is struggling is to feel as if you are “pretending” to have a good one. I was so joyful to no longer pretend and to find the real me and new paths. I am also joyful of the relationship that we have Megan – it has been a rediscovery of me and you. Thank you for holding me dear no matter what.

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