Technically, I have three more months left of this pregnancy. If you saw my belly, I’m afraid you’d think I was due in a few weeks. I’m huge compared to my first pregnancy with Mae. Mae was born on February 15th. This baby is due around April 6th. I was looking at pictures from the Christmas I was pregnant with Mae, and I am the same size now!
How in the world can this baby grow for three more months? It’s a bit scary to think how big my belly will get.
Between now and the baby’s due date, Mae will turn 3. She is a delight in so many ways. She has a real sense of humor, and she makes me slow down and notice all kinds of things throughout the day. However, we have also been having what I call “Level 10 Meltdowns.” Mae does get angry, but her meltdowns mostly consist of getting UPSET, to the point that she can barely talk and calming down is a long process. Her meltdowns definitely stem from wanting control and feeling a lack of control. And, boy, do I understand that feeling. I like control too, and she has so little of it in her world. Yesterday’s meltdown came when trying to get dressed. Getting dressed, eating meals, and using the bathroom are the three areas she can try to control, so she does. Getting dressed is a major culprit though. Some kids her age don’t have a lot of opinions on what they wear. Mae has all the opinions. And I don’t really care what she wears, but she can’t wear a tank top in January. But yesterday’s fit was under the guise of not being able to pick out panties. She wanted the pony panties. Wait, no they are too big. She doesn’t want panties at all. She now wants the green panties. And on and on and on. I finally asked her “Are you just taking a long time because you don’t want Mommy to go back to work?”
“Uh-huh,” she got out through her tears.
I don’t blame her. I don’t want to go back to work either.
So it took 50 minutes to get dressed. I didn’t yell. I stayed patient. They should give out awards for this kind of thing.
I can see that 3 will be a challenge, and we have a new baby coming during this year. My word for the year is ENOUGH. I am focusing on accepting that I am enough and I have enough. I am a good mother just as I am. But maybe my word should have been PATIENCE. This year I will need a lot of that.