Are You Having A Baby? No, I Have One Already!

Mae just turned ONE! I WAS NOT READY, people.

She’s not walking yet, so she is not a toddler. I will not accept that term: toddler. She’s my baby.

I’ve learned that when your baby gets close to the one-year mark, the world begins to think you might have another one. What?!

Actually, I kind of get it. Kind of. Mae is finally sleeping through the night. She’s saying some words. She can feed herself. This is practically relaxing at a spa compared to her newborn days. I can see how some parents would become lulled into comfort and think “Why not add another one to the mix?”

But I haven’t forgotten yet. The labor. The colic. The exhaustion. The anxiety attacks. It’s all still pretty vivid. And I wonder if I’ll ever forget enough to consider having another child. Her first four months were the most stressful of my life. Period.

Of course, she brings me more joy than anything else now. Enough joy, that one baby fills me up just fine.

I also love my career. I’ve finally hit my stride again this semester. Last semester, my first after maternity leave, was just about survival. But now, I think I’m a better teacher than I’ve ever been, mainly due to motherhood. Life is crazy and I just finished both grading essays and making felt pages for a quiet book, but we are floating along for the most part. This morning, Mae woke up with an explosive diaper that went through everything, all the way to the sheets.
This was not stressful. It’s our normal. Shit happens. 😉 But I can’t take any more shit happening.

This is all just to say: we are happy. She’s still a baby. Don’t ask me about another one.


3 thoughts on “Are You Having A Baby? No, I Have One Already!

  1. Great post! Every time someone would ask me that question, mostly acquaintances, I would think to myself: the answer to that question entails so many personal issues: I’m not sure you wanna go there! I would give a very vague answer, and if the person was insisting, I would answer more bluntly (for example, I said “I just want to make sure my depression is really over” a few times, which shut some people up, and that’s kinda sad). I still get that question from time to time, but now people are more ready to stomach my answer… Mostly because the ones that ask now really care! Some people think it’s a conversation starter… To me, it’s starting way too personal! But hey, I know they don’t have bad intentions, and I try focusing on that, but it’s a tough question to answer! Maybe next time around I’ll start my answer with that “That’s a tough question”!

  2. Mine turned 12 months a couple of weeks ago and I’m still getting used to “toddler”–but he’s definitely a toddler now, strong opinions, meltdowns and all. It’s like a switch was flipped. I am so glad the newborn days are over and I love my little guy, but am a little afraid of what’s to come! 🙂 And I was a teacher too before opting to stay home for a school year … I’m considering returning this fall. So nervous. Glad to hear the perspective of someone doing it. -Melissa,

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