Mae just turned ONE! I WAS NOT READY, people.
She’s not walking yet, so she is not a toddler. I will not accept that term: toddler. She’s my baby.
I’ve learned that when your baby gets close to the one-year mark, the world begins to think you might have another one. What?!
Actually, I kind of get it. Kind of. Mae is finally sleeping through the night. She’s saying some words. She can feed herself. This is practically relaxing at a spa compared to her newborn days. I can see how some parents would become lulled into comfort and think “Why not add another one to the mix?”
But I haven’t forgotten yet. The labor. The colic. The exhaustion. The anxiety attacks. It’s all still pretty vivid. And I wonder if I’ll ever forget enough to consider having another child. Her first four months were the most stressful of my life. Period.
Of course, she brings me more joy than anything else now. Enough joy, that one baby fills me up just fine.
I also love my career. I’ve finally hit my stride again this semester. Last semester, my first after maternity leave, was just about survival. But now, I think I’m a better teacher than I’ve ever been, mainly due to motherhood. Life is crazy and I just finished both grading essays and making felt pages for a quiet book, but we are floating along for the most part. This morning, Mae woke up with an explosive diaper that went through everything, all the way to the sheets.
This was not stressful. It’s our normal. Shit happens. 😉 But I can’t take any more shit happening.
This is all just to say: we are happy. She’s still a baby. Don’t ask me about another one.