Small Miracles, Big Thanks

As we get closer and closer to Mae turning one, Jimmy and I keep reflecting on the past year. It’s been a whirlwind.

Was she really this little?

Was she really this little?

I spend most of my time reflecting on how much Mae has changed and grown, but I think it’s important for parents to pause and think about their own growth during this first year of parenting. The changes feel tangible. I’m so thankful for them. There are so many obstacles I can face now that I couldn’t just five or six months ago.

For instance, traveling over the holidays. We traveled around with Mae for five days, jumping from house to house. When Mae was a newborn, this would have sent me into extreme panic. Jimmy and I would bicker the entire trip because I would panic over the smallest peep from Mae in the backseat. Now, well, it just is what it is. She mainly does okay in the car. She still doesn’t sleep, but we throw everything we can at her to keep her happy, and then whatever happens, happens. Being able to stay calm through lots of travel– small miracle.

Mae at three weeks old. This trip to World Market in Cary felt like a trip to China and back.

Mae at three weeks old. This trip to World Market in Cary felt like a trip to China and back.

Mae has also been sick just about every other week since November. It’s been a struggle. Sometimes, she’s just had your average runny nose, but this recent sickness was pretty bad. Her breathing was labored; she was pure pitiful. We had to do breathing treatments.

Seeing your child hooked up to a machine just feels wrong.

Seeing your child hooked up to a machine just feels wrong. This is what her little mask looks like, by the way. 

I was able to stay calm through the breathing treatments. I didn’t flip out. A few months ago, this would have sent me over the edge. This week, I’ve held her and she’s been a very brave girl. She also thoroughly enjoys the Baby Einstein videos she gets to watch during these sessions. Small (kind of big) miracle.

Going back to work after my holiday break is also coming around the corner. I will have been off for a month when I return on January 12th. In the past, this would cause me some anxiety, but I feel fine, kind of excited. I’ve started working on a new course design for my Composition class, and I think it’s going to be pretty great. I haven’t felt this way about work in a long time. Small miracle.

Remember the child who screamed at every feeding? Now she loooooves to feed herself. Maybe that's what she wanted all along. ;) Small miracle.

Remember the child who screamed at every feeding? Now she loooooves to feed herself. Maybe that’s what she wanted all along. 😉 Small miracle.

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2 thoughts on “Small Miracles, Big Thanks

  1. This is huge! You’re awesome! I don’t have anxiety (at least not diagnosed anxiety), but I would certainly have panicked if my baby would’ve cried all the time or if I would’ve had to do breathing treatments! You are the best! Hurray for you!

  2. Wonderful reflections on how we change through parenting! Our growth somehow feels like a slow realization that we are here as guardians of health, teachers of moral direction, and that our kids will be the individuals they are. Becoming more relaxed took a while for me…probably over a year. Thanks for stating it clearly for us.

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