After Colic (fingers crossed!)

I cry like it's my job because it is my job.

I cry like it’s my job…because it is my only job.

Our baby, now eighteen weeks old, was colicky from about six to fourteen weeks–the longest days and nights of my life. I just paused to knock on wood because I’m scared she’ll become colicky again. I’m scared I’ll jinx it. We are still on edge that she’ll cross back over into being a possessed baby again. If you have/had a colicky baby, then you know what I mean.  Jimmy would say “Well, that’s a thing that happened” about a good night, because we were scared to even speak of it, frightened it might go away.

Colic is hard. Colic is physically demanding. You bounce, march, squat, sing, hop, and jiggle for hours on end to try and bring just a moment or two of relief to your baby.

Colic is emotionally devastating. You are biologically wired to want to respond to your child’s cries. Her cries distress you (that’s a euphemism). However, you can’t do anything to stop your baby’s screams during these colic spells.

Mae is still pretty fussy in the evenings, but she isn’t screaming bloody murder. I’m talking, red-faced-about-to-pop-a-blood-vessel screaming for hours. It was very painful to watch. It broke our hearts, and we didn’t know when it would stop.

Even though we’ve been almost a month without a colicky baby, I still can’t stop thinking every cry might tip over into scream-ville. We were on such high-alert for so long that I have to stop myself from soothing other people’s babies when we go out in public. I’m a professional at this point, seriously. I’ve thought about turning this into my new calling, The Colic Calmer.

Sometimes I still hear her screaming in the middle of the night, but it’s just a dream or Arthur farting, or it’s her crying, but she isn’t screaming, she’s just hungry.

I don’t know when we will “get over” colic. We have always loved Mae, but in some way, we are finally starting to like her.  She’s more than a screaming ball of baby, and we are trying to relax into enjoying this new baby.

For all you mamas who are still going through the colic days, I’m here for you. It is miserable and beyond hard. Send me a message or an e-mail. Or I’ll come and hold your screaming baby for a while if you live around here. I’m not just saying that, I really will.

 

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