Insider’s Guide to Introverts

A while back, I wrote a post about two of the Myers-Brigg letters where Jimmy and I differ; I am a judger, and he is a perceiver.

However, we are very much the same on the first letter of this personality. We are both introverts, not extroverts. Now many people have the wrong idea about what introvert really means. It does NOT mean that you don’t like being around people or that you’re socially awkward. Introverts simply get their energy, their fuel, from being by themselves, while extroverts gain energy by socializing and being around people.

This means a few different things in terms of how we live together:

1. We both need to be alone when we get home from work. We’ve had the stimulus of lots of people all day long, and we need a moment to decompress. The wonderful thing about both being introverts is that we “get” this about each other. I can say hello, greet him with a kiss, and then say, “I need to be alone for a few minutes,” and he gives me that time without any questions. My husband knows it isn’t personal.

2. Sometimes we have to push each other to be social. I lean a little more towards extrovert than Jimmy, so I plan lots of social outings. However, we are both aware of falling too hard towards introversion, so we watch each other and make sure we aren’t being too homebodyish.

3. When there is an area where you and your partner are very alike, you have to be careful not to adopt an “us” versus the world type mentality. If you start thinking, “Well, we both like to do it this way, so their way is wrong,” you can really become closed off. One thing that keeps a relationship interesting is when you are both growing and changing. If you stay safe in the box of “us,” you are really missing out of a lot of “them.” Them being the entire world!

If you have the introvert vs. extrovert dynamic in your house, let me know how you balance it. I’d be interested to find out. If you are two extroverts, well you probably don’t have time to read this due to all your socializing!


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